Attention Spork :
Re: The malicious destruction of personal property of and attempted bodily harm of Ellie May.
Be advised the preponderance of the evidence available* clearly demonstrates the willful and malicious activities of Spork, who while driving his goat truck, Sally, on the morning of January 15, 2008, did hereby back into Ellie May's flower pot and uproot her pansies. Furthermore, Spork planted a deadly I.P.D. (Improvised Poisonous Device) to be detonated when Ellie May uprighted her pansies, as Spork knew she would do forthwith.
This infringing action constitutes a deliberate form of harassment and ill-will by Spork and Ellie May seeks restitution for her pain and suffering and emotional distress.
Attorney at Law
* See photographic evidence below